Schnäck never fails to please.

Reminded by a comment by Harry Hawk on my Corner Bistro entry, I realized that I have consistently forgotten to review the best burger I’ve had in my own neighborhood: Schnäck, Mr. Hawk’s  restaurant, serves a deliciously addictive patty in miniature, and, if they delivered up to Boerum Hill, I’d probably be fat as hell.

The original Schnäck is located, somewhat obscurely to non-Carroll Gardens residents, on Union Street between Hicks St. (the BQE) and Columbia St.  It’s a small place, but a friendly one, and it’s rare that I enter these days without seeing at least one family with small children teaching their kids the virtues of a good burger (and, subliminally, the value of Carling beer – one wall is covered in a giant advert for it).

My roommate and I were there for brunch a week or two ago, and, though the prices have seemingly gone up slightly, the quality has not declined.  Ordering fries will bring an enormous shareable basket of thinly cut goodness (try ‘em with the strange-looking hot sauce if you like, but they’re also perfect with ketchup).  The fries come out first – a brilliant innovation.

Between the two of us, we nuked the basket just in time to get our burgers.  I opted for two doubles with cheese, while my roommate made an attack on the gargantuan order of three doubles without cheese.  The burgers are crispy on the outside, pleasingly greasy, and mounted perfectly on a whole wheat mini-bun.  A variety of toppings are available, but none are really necessary – the burger is flavorful enough as-is.

To complete the caloric trifecta, I usually opt for a vanilla milkshake.  Made, for once, with real ice cream, and not big enough to induce a Jenny Craig visit, it’s the perfect complement to the burger and fries.  Lactose-intolerant or pre-gaming?  They have pitchers of beer, too, in a variety of price categories – the schwag isn’t awful, if I recall correctly.

I keep threatening to have my birthday party at Schnäck, either the original branch or the “Express” outpost at the Brooklyn Lyceum (4th Ave between Union and President).  Aside from the ability to accommodate a pack of hungry folks, and proximity to Columbia Street bars, I think my friends and I would set an all-time record for “most unhealthy birthday.”  Perfect!